Thirsty To Be Seen

Thirsty To Be Seen

One day I am thirsty to be seen on social media and the next I’m dry af about the very thing that authenticated my need to record every waking minute of my very existence. Hold on while I share my new handbag on InstaStories and Snap my avo toast. One day I want to be seen and the next I want to disappear, but if I don’t post something every day I get social media anxiety, I need to be seen.

Wanting To Be Seen

We can be surrounded by friends and family and still feel invisible; we can look to social media as an opportunity to reach out to others who can empathize with what we are going through at the present time. It could be as simple as choosing your next meal, outfit, or workout by asking our friends. If it’s something as involved as self-harm, there are multiple social channels supporting mental illness. If you are not comfortable with sharing details of your private life, you can create an anonymous account.

 

For years I refused to take photos and did not want to be seen on social media. I was crippled (you can read how that happened here) with low self-esteem after a lifetime of choosing men who constantly degraded me and made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I know now that I only have myself to blame, we get what we accept, and I refuse to be disrespected now. Ladies, I implore you to demand respect from every man but most importantly respect yourself first and foremost. Let me jump off my soapbox and get back to the story. After my accident, my lifestyle changed, but my eating habits did not, so I gained hella weight. I was also depressed about the fact that I was disabled; therefore I ate my feelings, and I had a lot of feelings. FYI my feelings taste like donuts.

 

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After I got divorced and lost the weight, I got back out into society, but I still didn’t like letting anyone take my photo. A friend noticed that I always offered to take the photo but never joined them in the group shot. She finally cajoled me into joining, and when she posted the photo on the facebook and showed up in my feed, I noticed the likes and comments. I felt like I had been seen, for years I had felt invisible. I began posting a photo on Facebook each day, just a funny little photo, nothing special. Each day the likes and comments came in, and I continued to post my photos.

 

My husband of 11-years had told me that I was lucky he stayed married to me after my accident because no one else would want me now that I was crippled. He also cheated on me repeatedly and stole from me. The hardest thing I went through was him disappearing for days because he loved drugs more than me (I know it’s a disease, but it took me a long time to grasp his choice).

 

No one understood why I was posting a photo of myself every day, and I never explained it. They didn’t need to understand, and I didn’t owe anyone an explanation for why I lived my life the way I did. But here, in this space, for you I will explain. It was my way of saying, “Hello Universe, I’m here, and you see me.” My daily photo was how I felt seen. The smallest things that we do for ourselves can have the largest impact. I posted these photos for me and me alone. I needed to do this.

 

Thirsty To Be Seen

 

 

Thirst Traps

Urban Dictionary, the only dictionary you need (imo), coined this term. We have all seen the photos that people post and assume they are thirsty, looking for others to publicly profess their attraction and give them compliments in order to boost their confidence. Some of the photos are simple selfies (me); other photos might be a little more risqué. The thirst trap is the social media drug of choice. If you need attention or you want to display your badass confidence to the, post a selfie. Your thirst has been connected to the Universe, and your likes and comments will soon be delivered to quench that thirst baby.

 

While you may see these photos and make assumptions about the people posting them, you have no idea what their story is. My daily Faceboook photos (see above) featured a lot of gym photos, I had lost 70 lbs, and someone once commented, “You always act so proud of yourself. Lol” Then she went on her feed and asked people which diet pills worked the best. I was proud of myself for losing 70 lbs. while learning to walk again after the experts said I wouldn’t, actually. Lol Yeah, you don’t know anyone’s story, please don’t make assumptions. If you don’t like something you see or it makes you feel some type of way, keep scrolling, unfollow, or block this person. There’s enough negative energy in the Universe, don’t allow any more into your life. Maybe it shouldn’t make you feel negative, but it does anyway, accept it, block it, move on. It’s fine. Your feelings are your feelings whatever they may be.

 

Cassandra Blackwell, A Twitter Personality told Vice, “I have an incessant need for external validation and strangers on the internet always come through for me…social media is actively rewarding my mental illness. I do it because I like to. I do it because being looked at turns me on.” Again, if you like what she posts, great, if you don’t, move on. But recognize that she has a story and she has her reasons. Most importantly she has the same damn rights as anyone else to post whatever she wants. Here’s where it gets interesting…

 

 

Thirsty To Be Seen

 

This is an ongoing problem for everyone, not only the so-called “thirst traps.” The unsolicited dick pic. Why? Just why? Everyone gets them, without a doubt, but if a woman is posting an overtly sexy photo is she asking for it? I think that’s a hell no! People are into everything so if I post a picture of my cute new sandals am I asking for a foot fetish guy to send me his testes? Uh, no. No, I am Not. What happened to common courtesy? Because guys I know somebody out there wants a picture of your junk, but can’t you ask first? Like, DM a quick, “Hey girl, your gorgeous, so’s my dick. Would you like a pic?” Feel free to copy and paste.

 

Unsolicited porn has been on my mind for a very long time. I stopped doing my daily photos on the Facebook after I received a Facebook phone call from a random stroking himself. Seriously, I died a little bit inside. I did not know this person in IRL. Why were we even friends on the Facebook? I immediately hung up and blocked him. Why would a stranger do this? Did he think I was going to ask for his address so I could join him? Start stroking myself? What if a small child had answered my phone? Guys, If you’re sending out unsolicited pics and a child gets it, you’re guilty of exposing this child to porn. Please copy and paste the above; someone is into it, just ask before they receive.

 

After the unsolicited strokefest, I rarely post on the Facebook. People really are into everything because I posted a lot of photos with my tiny dogs and me. When you see someone who you deem as “thirsty,” appreciate, hate, but don’t violate. You may or may not know them, but they have a story and a right to be seen.

 

And shoutout to all the ladies who pose for sexy pics all the time. It is not as easy as it looks on social media. I took 347 picture. Some of them made me lol, literally. If my meme account weren’t anonymous I would have a month’s worth of content.

 

Thirsty To Be Seen

{My tiny dog Spam is Thirsty too}

 

**This “photo shoot” was awkward af and ridiculous! I wanted to take the photos outside because the lighting would be better, but it took me 7 hours to put on enough makeup that you would not be able to see my actual face. I had to practice sexy poses in the mirror for 74 minutes, a sexy selfie is one thing but posing for someone else was not cool, for me anyway, but you do you. If I had held my arms away from my body my arm fat would not have looked so huuuuge, just a little tip if you ever want to pose in a sleeveless top, or nude, you do you. And my posture was bad. I basically did everything wrong, but my dog looks cute.

 

While I in no way think I’m hot here, I don’t think I’m ugly. I’m fine with my looks. I don’t think of myself as a bombshell hottie, that’s just not my look, and I’m cool with that. But I want to be transparent about what I did to these photos. They were taken in RAW with a Canon Mark IV (which does most of the work, js). I edited them in Photoshop by changing the luminance and adjusting the colors. I cropped out the clutter in the corners. I did not remove any of my flaws; that’s why I’m wearing a shit-ton of makeup and distracting you with the temptation of my breasts. I am putting a photo of before and after edits below. Online comments don’t bother me. I don’t take anything personally, it’s cool.

 

And yes, I had lead poisoning for dinner, it was not good. I do not reocommend it.

 

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What are your thoughts on social media? What are your thoughts on “thirst traps?” Do you care what they post? Why? Tell me all the things in the comments.

 

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