I knew the photos I posted last week would get a reaction and it was a strong one. If you missed that post, it is here. It was about posting “thirsty” photos just to be seen and the lengths we go to on social media. My idea behind that post was to start a conversation, and that’s what happened. Everyone still views these “thirsty” photos as a desperate woman who wants a man, any man. The debate continues here…
A few comments came in, of course, but one really stuck out. Someone commented, “After catching my boyfriend looking at “thirsty” photos girls had posted on the web my eyes have opened to how many sites of photos like this are out there.” I am paraphrasing her comment because she deleted it shortly after I replied. I don’t know why because she is correct. The interweb has a site for every possible type of photo you want to look at, from nude girls to the inner scientific workings of animals I can’t pronounce to political conspiracy theories of countries that may or may not even exist.
While I certainly understand her point and I can feel her frustration, she deleted her comment before I could continue the conversation. The whole point of writing last weeks piece was to get a healthy debate going. I would like to hear from other people. Let’s discuss both sides of this issue because it goes so much deeper than just putting a cute picture on the interweb. From mental illness and legal rights, all the way to the fairy tale life we have been trying to create since we were children. For little girls, it was being rescued by a handsome prince, and for little boys, it was turning into a mutant ninja turtle or vice versa. As adults, we call this marriage.
« Should I start planting conspiracy theories in his mind to convince him to get off the grid? »
My assumption from her comment is that she was upset by her boyfriend looking at these “thirsty” photos and she was unhappy that the photos were there in the first place. My self-esteem has taken a hit when my man friend looks at a “thirsty” photo of a hot single woman. The only way to keep my man friend off the interweb is to keep him occupied with my juggling skills which usually ends up with me cracking him over the head with something. Therefore, he has an icepack on his eyes, and he’s not looking at the interweb, problem solved. But, what about those times when I’m not around to crack him over the head? Do I cut his Wifi each time I leave his home? Should I start planting conspiracy theories in his mind to convince him to get off the grid? That’s the only way to prevent him from ever seeing any “thirsty” photo that could bring out my green-eyed monster because the thirst is real on the interweb.
What “should be posted” is where my debate starts. Photos will always be on the interweb; people have a legal right to post these photos. ACLU.org is an entire website dedicated to the legal rights of what can be posted. I have not read this entire website, but please feel free to do so and send me the highlights. I always publish photos that I took or photos that I hired someone to take to be safe and avoid any infringement on copyright, this is why they are sometimes crap, I know nothing, but I am learning as I go. Back to my debate, until the laws change, and hopefully, they never will, people have a right to post whatever they choose. Certain websites prohibit specific types of content, which is their right, but there are sites for every type of content.
If someone is looking at content that you don’t approve of, that’s a personal debate between the two of you. As I wrote in last weeks piece, I caught my husband at the time having an emotional affair with someone who had posted “thirsty” photos in some lame chat room. But, it was my husband’s responsibility to remain faithful to me. He stood in front of God and all our friends and family and took vows, not this random woman from the interweb. She didn’t owe me anything; she was expressing herself, which is her right to do. I could not blame the temptation; only the person who betrayed me by succumbing to it.
I also had a healthy debate with a friend about what should or should not be allowed on certain websites. Her debate was that certain sites were created for families and should not have women in risqué photos or people out behaving questionably. She argues that these sites were created to find family and friends and should remain family friendly. By this argument, people should only be allowed to post things based on what is deemed appropriate by a certain group of people. Last time I checked, and I could be wrong, I’m usually not, but anything is possible, these sights have posting guidelines that allow everything that she finds inappropriate.
« Or do we secretly enjoy feeling a little better about our lives because we are not as much of a hot mess as we thought? »
We always want our social media feeds to be appropriate based on our judgment, and we have that option. We can unfollow, block, use filters, etc. Regardless of this option, we keep our feeds full of the images that make us feel bad or negative in some way. Why? Is it our inner nice guy? Do we fear to hurt someone’s feelings by not following their every move on social media although we find it inappropriate? Or do we secretly enjoy feeling a little better about our lives because we are not as much of a hot mess as we thought, I mean, “Look as Falala, she is wildin’ out every damn night! I’m so glad I finally got it together.” I whisper to myself as I sip Jamison and send out nudes from the comfort of my own home. Btw, I’m just making a point here; I don’t do this, I drink craft vodka.
If we forbid people from posting on social media based on our judgment of what’s appropriate, what would happen if you couldn’t post pictures of your storybook family because it perpetuates the falsehood that true happiness only exist if you find true love? How would you feel about that Susan? As a single woman what if, based on my judgment alone, I no longer wanted to see all the family photos that made me feel less than? For instance, the photos that remind poor, pitiful, single me I haven’t found “the one” who will “complete” me and make my life worth living? I don’t want to see the concession stand at your kid’s soccer game, Susan. But it’s your right to post the photos of them eating nitrates that will blow up in their lower intestines and give them diarrhea. And it’s my right to totally judge you for that and then send you links to Immodium. I don’t think Susan would like this idea very much. But it’s no different; we’re both telling someone what they should or should not post based on what we think is appropriate or what we want to see.
What is appropriate? It varies according to who you ask. One day while discussing fitness trainers/models with a friend, we could not agree on which body type was the best. Both were very fit and looked great but we had different opinions of which looked the best according to our judgment, which is our right. Fitness trainers can pose in bikinis and tight workout clothing, and that’s appropriate, but if a random girl does it and her only purpose is showing her smile, not selling a supplement, it’s inappropriate? Might she entice your man into cheating? Wtf? This sounds like you got trust issues or that man is a dog. Maybe you should check your man and then get your mind right. Or just kick his ass to the curb and eat one of those chili pie Frito bags, look it up on Pinterest and thank me later.
« That’s what it’s all about, our voyeurism. »
And I find it ridiculous that JoJo is on social media every day swearing about her man and her sister-cousin touching each other. That’s more inappropriate than some chicks nipple, in my opinion. But she has the right to do this, and it keeps people entertained, and that’s what it’s all about, our voyeurism. Are you entertained by trash gossip, “thirsty” photos, fitness buffs, or “perfect family” photos? Surprisingly Susan is not bothered by Jojo; she would go off on her incestuous soccer moms and dads too if they weren’t friends and had to see each other at the country club this weekend. Susan puts on a damn good show. Poor Susan, can you imagine how tired her fake ass is? But everyone plays along. Married people play along because they know the struggle and single people play along because they want the focus off of themselves for a minute.
I will go into detail about why single people play along and the single stigma in a post later this week. In the meantime let’s continue the debate on what’s appropriate for social media. How do you decide who to follow or block? Do you think people should be able to post based on law or opinion? Tell me your thoughts in the comments.
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